Our group has had an array of experiences thus far on our study tour in Europe, but I'd have to say that today was one of the hardest days as we toured Concentration Camp Auschwitz-Birkenau. We spent about 6 hours at the camp, 3 hours in the morning touring Auschwitz and 3 hours touring it's sister camp Birkenau, with a quick lunch break in between. There is so much to say about what we saw and learned today. At the beginning of the first tour, I quickly whipped out my notepad to write down the list of facts our tour guide was saying, but soon after, I decided to take everything in without jotting down every detail.
First, I noticed that the atmosphere around us at the camp was quite remarkable. The weather was cold, dreary and stormy, mirroring our feelings towards what occurred at the concentration camp. It was also, appropriately, really crowded with tours today, making it harder for our large group to maneuver around. In addition, the paths were very bumpy and the sharp rocks I felt under my feet were constant reminders of the indescribably horrible happenings that occurred at the camp years ago.
As we entered the camp, we saw a sign with the words, "Arbeit Macht Frei," meaning "Labor makes you free" in German. These words symbolize the lies and deception the Nazis used with their prisoners. As we continued, we went inside buildings from the camp, which had been refurbished inside and filled with information and artifacts.
Some rooms contained photographs and timelines, while others were much more difficult to see. There were huge glass cases along the walls. One filled with bundles of human hair belonging to victims at the camp. Another piled high with their eye glasses. Others contained suitcases, shoes, and prosthetic legs. Seeing the suitcases hit me particularly hard. In Primo Levi's "Survival In Auschwitz," he writes about mothers packing the family's suitcases before going to the camp, without forgetting "the diapers, the toys, the cushions and the hundreds of small things mothers only remember." He continues, "If you and your child were going to be killed tomorrow, would you not give him food to eat today?" (Levi, 4) This reminds me of my own mother and how she remembers to pack every little accessory for us before a trip. I have learned about the Holocaust for many years, but seeing these items was an entirely different experience. These were ordinary people. It could have been anyone. How could this happen? These were the thoughts running through my mind.
Another place that stood out to me at the camp was a new exhibition commemorating Auschwitz victims from Hungary. It displayed photographs and stories of survivors and those who lost their lives. There was one picture that particularly touched me. It was a photograph of a woman before the war contrasted next to a picture of her being held up by a nurse after the war. The juxtaposition of these pictures was eye-opening as I compared the woman's full, healthy figure and bright smile to her emaciated skeleton and cold, aloof expression. In addition, I noticed that the glass floor at the exhibit covered train tracks and I heard repetitive, deep sounds coming from one side of the room. At first, I thought of the sound of a train, but as I walked through the exhibit, it sounded more like a heart beat to me. It made me wonder how some hearts continued to beat through the torture they endured.
We saw many other sights at Auschwitz in the morning, but the last sight was the toughest for me personally. We silently walked through the enclosed building where the gas chambers were held at the camp. No words can portray this experience. Countless numbers of men, women and children walked into these chambers, thinking they would walk back outside minutes later, refreshed from a shower. Children. Children with dreams of becoming artists, doctors, firemen, actors, writers, and princesses. But they were not able to walk back outside. As my feet led me out of the small building, my eyes watered for those who were not able to walk out like I so easily had.
Our group broke for a quick lunch on the bus even though I'm sure I can speak for us all and say that eating was not exactly on our minds. We then drove about 5 minutes and arrived at Auschwitz II-Birkenau Death Camp. This camp was different because it was formed later on and was primarily an extermination camp rather than a work camp. Moreover, the camp only opened up to the public recently and was not as refurbished as Auschwitz. At Birkenau, we walked through the entire camp, viewing the barracks the prisoners "lived" in, the outhouse, the places where the gas chambers were held and the fields where the prisoners were tortured, beaten and ridiculed. To know that I was standing in these places where such horrific happenings occurred less than 70 years ago was really intense. Honestly, I felt quite uncomfortable, as I did many other times throughout the day at the camp. Why am I here? Is it wrong for me to be touring this place?
It was our last stop of the day that responded to my worries. Our group entered a room displaying walls filled with pictures of the victims and their families before the war. Smiling faces. Children playing. Couples holding hands. Stories about families and their lives prior to the chaos. In addition, there were three poems displayed with strong words and meaningful messages. I would like to share one with you today.
"How can I sing. My world is laid waste.
How can I play with wrung hands?
Where are my dead? O God, I seek them in every dunghill, In every heap of ashes ... O tell me where you are." -Anonymous
A few last thoughts. First, I feel the need to mention and thank our incredibly informative and considerate tour guide, Sylvia. While I was impressed by her wealth of knowledge about the camp and what happened, I felt that her kind personality and respect for the victims prevailed and really helped me get though the day.
Lastly, visiting Auschwitz-Birkenau and seeing the sights first hand was not only eye-opening, but it also renewed my hopes to make a difference in the world today. Discrimination, cruelty, and suffering are not merely happenings of the past and are most definitely present in our world. I am the first to admit that I often overlook matters that I think I cannot do anything about. But I need to remember that the smallest gestures count. Whether it is holding the door for the person behind you, making someone laugh, standing up for people you don't know or even simply being kind--I think it all makes a difference.
-Sarah
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